Last week, Andrew showed me this article about ten bands the author will have to listen to in hell. He sent it mostly in jest as his beloved Counting Crows was number one on the list (um, Pearl Jam made an appearance, so clearly this dude doesn’t have ears that hear amazing 90′s alternative and eyes that see EDDIE VEDDER) but it got me thinking of what my ACTUAL hell would be like.
Have you ever stopped to imagine what your absolute worst nightmare place would be?
I’ll go first:
- In my hell, it would alternate between being 115 degrees or snowing and being -25 below. No matter how hot, there would always be WIND.
- It would smell like old milk.
- People would vomit non-stop, and I would join in the vomiting.
- Birds would fly everywhere and dart at your head.
- Celine Dion and Enya would play 24 hours a day.
- Meals would consist of tomatoes and beets, and everything would be hellishly spicy.
- I would be forced to do math, talk on the phone to strangers and have people invading my personal space.
- There would be no deodorant, and people would constantly be picking at their feet and toenails.
- Everyone would chew with their mouths open and all you would hear during meals was smacking.
- The maximum amount of sleep you’d be permitted would be two hours, and every time you were reaching that perfect deep sleep point, you’d be awakened by a crying baby or a car alarm.
- Every week would include a trip to the dentist and the OB/GYN.
What would your personal hell include?