I’ve seen this type of post floating all over the Internet, so I thought I would chime in and share the Best Decisions Of My Adult Life. Most only have five…I couldn’t pick, so here are my Top 10.
1. Getting a divorce. If you’re new here, I got married really young to someone that wasn’t a good match for me (there’s a lot to the story, and while I’ve written about it, I choose not to share a ton of details) and we split when I was 22. While it was the absolute hardest time of my life, and something I wouldn’t wish on ANYONE, ever, it was also the decision that gave me the freedom to have the sort of life I wanted. I know that I wouldn’t have gotten healthy or been happy had I stayed, and leaving gave me my life back.
2. Becoming a teacher. Being a teacher is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done. There is something special about this profession, for me. When I became a teacher at 24, I was in a really weird, sad place in my life. Being a teacher takes you out of your own head, gives you a purpose and teaches you so much. I love it, and I feel so thankful to have a career I like so much.
3. Maintaining a close relationship with my family. I see a lot of friends lose their close relationship with their parents and extended family as they get older. I’ve always had a great relationship with my parents, but in my opinion, it gets better the older I get. My parents are still the people I want advice from no matter what the issue, and family dinner is usually the highlight of my week. I feel extraordinarily blessed.
4. Choosing to work on Andrew and I’s relationship instead of ending it. This is a BIG one. As I shared before, Andrew and I went through a really rough patch about two years ago. There were a few points when I thought the best thing to do would be to end our relationship completely. Instead, we decided to work hard on our relationship, and as a result, we’ve blossomed from a dating relationship that was just okay, to the most intimate, healthy, close relationship I’ve ever had. There is mutual support and respect, and of course, a lot of love. I get really sad when I think that I nearly missed out on this.
5. Adopting Harry cat. I can’t really even talk about how much I love my cat without getting teary. Harry and I have been through a lot together — he’s been the only real constant thing in my life since I was 22. Harry loves me unconditionally, and I love him more than anything, ever. Before him, I had no idea how much a pet can change your life, but now, I know.
6. Starting a blog. This blog has brought me over half of my closest friends, amazing opportunities, and most importantly, endless joy. This is the best hobby I’ve ever picked up and I am so glad I decided to start writing and putting it out on the Internet.
7. Therapy. Seven years of talking about my feelings, learning how to like myself, overcoming some serious sadness and dealing with life. I think therapy would benefit everyone. Truly. There is something incredible about having someone just listen to you, with no agenda other than to listen and help you figure out your “stuff.” Therapy gave me the tools to save my own life.
8. Living alone. To me, living alone should be an Adulthood Pre-requisite. I loved living alone. It was where I figured out how to take care of myself and how to handle business. I got to decorate a space how I wanted, be as messy/clean as I wanted, come and go as I please and figure out who I was. My apartment might have been a tiny studio in a sketchy neighborhood, but I loved it.
9. Going to Paris. For me, Paris symbolized so much more than just a trip to a cool place. It was making a dream come true for myself, one that I wasn’t sure I would ever accomplish. It made me want to replicate that feeling over and over again, and since that trip, I’ve actively worked to make more of my own dreams happen. Also? Pain au chocolat. The end.
10. Learning how to care for myself — a work in progress. In my early 20′s, I spent a lot of time waiting for other people to make me happy, and expecting others to try and make me happy. The older I get, the more I realize that I need to be the one writing the manual for The Care And Feeding Of A Happy Amy. I’ve learned how to deal with bad days, when to ask for help and how to make myself feel good.
Now you! Leave your best decisions in the comments or write your own post and let me know about it!
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Inspired by Holly!
I was all: I should do this too! Then I realized we would basically have the same list (edited for the fact that I got divorced at 23, of course). Congratulations on being awesome.
Ending a ridiculous relationship.
Leaving a very stressful, soul-sucking (DRAMATIC I know, but it really was) job for a more laid-back work environment
Cutting waaaay back on the drinking
Making a habit of putting on sunscreen every day
Great post, Amy! We have some overlap on our best decisions – like starting a blog, traveling to Paris, living alone, and going to therapy. I am also glad I ended the relationships I’ve been as I would have been settling had I stayed with those men (they were great people, just not great for me). I am also glad I started training for marathons and joined my running club!
This is SO great! I wish I was old enough to steal this post & write it for myself, but I don’t think I’m far enough in adulthood to actually realize which decisions are WORKING for me right now. They’re kind of all still in progress.
Awesome list full of great decisions. I definitely agree that pets can change your life AND that living alone should be a pre-req for adulthood. And of course, I’m on the same page as you about therapy. :-
Love this list. I’ve been a reader here for 6 months or so& I did not know your were a fellow divorce under 30 gal. As a fellow lady who recently just joined that category, I am always touched and inspired when I learn of people who also stood up for themselves and decided their early marriage was not the right fit for us. I’m still sort of in the thick of moving on, paperwork, etc. so knowing now that you were not too long ago in the same spot, gives me endless amounts of hope and inspiration to just keep lugging through the muck to the happy life on the other side :)
I love this! I love how you talk about your cat and Paris. I recently had a similar experience, only in another country. Came back to live a life full of making dreams come true and knowing that I can do ANYTHING in this beautiful life! Literally. Love the list. Thanks for sharing!
Great list! I agree about so many of yours!
For me, it would be:
Living abroad for an extended amount of time. Having to make your own way without a huge safety net is exhilarating and terrifying and really, really important.
Being single for a long time, even though I kinda hated it (and, to be 100% honest, I’m not sure how much of a conscious decision it was). I feel a lot more confident in my abilities to be on my own and sure about what/who I like than my friends who have been coupled in one way or another since they were in their teens.
Having a relationship. On the flip side of the single thing, I’ve learned a lot in a relationship too!
Starting a kick-butt work out routine. I hope this makes me a healthier, happier person through the rest of my life, not just now!
i relate to a LOT of these – and i am totally going to steal the concept and post it myself. i haven’t had a chance to say so but your new design is absolutely lovely!
LOVE this post! I am totally doing this! I agree with living alone, I only did it for 10 months but it was an amazing experience for me. Also getting both my pets. They are a lot of work but the happiness they bring to my life is worth it!
What a great post! I like that you show both sides of relationships – the situation where the best thing to do is end it (in your case the divorce) and the situation where it’s important to work on it and strengthen it. Going through both of those situations is definitely a marker of adulthood.
Amy I absolutely adore this post. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately too and some of the decisions I’ve made and how happy I am that I made them. I will definitely have to use this for a blog post as well.
Bravo.
Also unrelated, coming to your site makes me so incredibly happy. The redesign is just so dang cheery, it’s hard not to smile. Add to that your amazing writing and just yes. Thanks for making my days brighter Amy.
Love this post, Amy! I’ve only been reading your blog for about a year now, so it’s awesome to get an idea of how far you’ve come over your adult years. You rock!
Here’s the link to my post:
http://ginamarierose.com/2012/06/13/the-five-best-decisions-of-my-adult-life/
I love this post – and your list.
For me my best decisions have been (in no particular order):
1. Going on Erasmus. I knew I was pretty independent but those three months spent as just me without any luggage has taught me a lot about myself. Also Sweden is pretty awesome.
2. Quitting my teaching job to go back to school to study musical theatre. It was so scary – it still is sometimes – but I would have regretted it all my life if I hadn’t done it. And I’m getting some good results: just got accepted at Royal Welsh College. Woot!
3. Taking distance from negative people. A hard but good decision for me. I chose to take care of myself instead of letting the positivity and happiness being sucked out of me.
This is such a great post and you have inspired me to write one of my own!
lovely post. i want to try my hand at this soon.
Such a great list! :)
Such an inspiring post! Now I want to take my journal down to a cafe and really think about this!
I love this list, Amy!
For me, I’d have to say getting divorced from my first husband was one of the best decisions I ever made. Marrying Andrew was another, as was choosing to focus our financial goals toward travel adventures. Getting deployed was a pretty solid adventure as well, and adopting all of my fur babies has to be on the list as well.