I normally post a recipe on Mondays, but my schedule of teacher training, grad school, teaching and sort of socializing has finally caught up to me. Today, I’m eating a bowl of raw veggies and hummus salad dressing for lunch. So. I’ll skip the fancy photos of that, okay? Cool.
Deleting Facebook and staying off Twitter and doing digital detoxes are the new “I don’t own a TV” right? Like, that’s cool, but you’re probably that person who visits your friends and then uses their Facebook to stalk. Don’t look at me like that. I know you know what I’m talking about.
Yoga teacher training is absolutely ruining (ha) every aspect of my life, but one thing I’m becoming really aware of is my total obsession with technology. I am that person who sits across from you at brunch and scans Twitter. I Instagram the hell out of everything. I have a love-hate Facebook, meaning that I love the validation but hate it when other people post dumb things…and yet, I am obsessed.
I’m realizing how often I use the Internet to numb out from what’s right in front of me. I’ll save the psychoanalyzing as to why for the depths of my journal, but I am realizing just how often I go through life totally absorbed in what’s going on in the world of the Internet instead of engaging fully with what’s in front of me. I also use it as a way to feel “liked” and “seen” even though the things I post may be a stylized version of life. I’m working really hard on showing up authentically (I’m sorry if that just made you puke in your mouth a little) and I’m trying to understand how the Internet plays into that.
Additionally, I waste a lot of time online. I cannot even bear to think of all the hours I’d get back if I didn’t go down Internet rabbit holes. It’s absurd. Also, I find myself super irritated by petty things online. I just don’t want to be involved in petty crap, and yet…I cannot stop my compulsion to check.
I have decided to take a digital detox of sorts. I’m not deleting anything or getting too crazy, but I am hoping to cultivate a little more quiet, a little more presence and get a handle on some of my weirder Internet habits.
Here are a few of my parameters:
- No phones at meals, in the bathroom (I KNOW, I’M DISGUSTING), or when there’s a human being in front of me (even if they pull out their phone). If I’m waiting on an important text or call, I’ll communicate that, but will not actively check my phone.
- I moved Twitter and Facebook off the home screen of my iPhone and put them in a folder. I’m hopeful that this alone will discourage me from checking as often, simply because it’s not right there.
- I want to work really hard on limiting my time online at home. There are SO many other things I want to do — read books (my reading habits are pathetic these days), make things, take photos, etc. I want to try and stick to only being online for an hour at night, and then getting offline early enough to wind down before bed. We’ll see how this goes. I’d be lying if I said the Internet doesn’t bring me joy, but I’d like to do other things.
- No more checking email and social media in bed. I usually lay in bed for 20+ minutes in the morning reading things. Ideally, I’ll use this time to get in a short cardio workout and a morning meditation instead of screwing around on Facebook.
- I set my email to only be sent to my phone manually so I don’t feel pressure to check it ASAP.
- Instagram can stay…for now. I love Instagram, and I find it so much less agitating than any other form of social media. I like taking photos. I like looking back at happy things. But again, I want to work on taking a photo and then getting out of there, instead of obsessively waiting for likes.
- I’m drastically reducing the number of blogs I read. I want to remain connected to friends, but I read an absurd number of blogs just to feel like I’m hip to what’s happening in the online world, as opposed to really enjoying them.
I’m not committing to any length of time on this. I imagine that I’ll see some immediate shifts and challenges, but my hope is that I’ll get away from being so connected all the time, and break my compulsion to check all forms of social media non-stop. I want to be more invested in what’s happening right in front of me, not obsessed with things happening far away or online.
Writing this post has me feeling really nervous, to be honest. I don’t want to fail, or be totally miserable. I do, however, want to shift my habits (and I have wanted to for a long time) so I think this will be a good start. Let the great experiment begin!
Have you ever worked to change your online habits? Any tips or things I’m forgetting?
I’ve been thinking a lot about a lot of these things, too, driven in part by the fact that social media is now my JOB, which means I’m on it more than ever. I’ve been toying with the idea of creating a dummy FB account to run my work accounts from so that I’m not on my own Facebook account all day every day. I’ve also moved social media icons off the home screen of my phone, & am trying to be more conscious of who I interact with when I do interact, making sure they’re people I like & value & want to hear from & talk to. I used to sort of hate-read & hate-follow people I didn’t really like, for a variety of reasons, but I have zero interest in that anymore. Cutting the fat, keeping things in my life that add to it & don’t aggravate it.
Throughout all your life changes, your blog continues to be one of my absolute favorites. I appreciate your perspective so much.
Well, I think you may know some of how I’ve changed my online habits, since I’ve written about it before, but…I first deleted my Facebook account. Here is the one funny/humbling thing I’ve found: anytime I delete or stop using some kind of online social media, NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING. It’s like no one notices, which is both humbling as hell, but also confirms that a lot of the online chatter is a one way street.
Second, I got rid of my smart phone. I would constantly check it a million times a day till it made me nauseous. The only thing about my smart phone that I miss is being able to take pictures and load them instantly to Flickr. Otherwise, I miss nothing, especially the bill.
Third, I have set real boundaries with the internet. I have a few sites I use, like Tumblr, Pinterest and Twitter (for work), but I don’t allow myself to spend more than x minutes on any site at any one time. I don’t let myself get sucked in. I don’t use the internet for an hour before bedtime, or an hour after waking up. I feel that all these changes have led me to naturally spend less time online and more time doing things I really love (like going to the library, working out and learning to garden). And my life is better for it. Seriously.
I wouldn’t be able to commit to any time with those rules, but I am trying to keep my social media down during the work day, and my thing right now is to keep my hands off my phone while I’m driving. I KNOW this is bad but I can’t seem to help it. Not texting, but I do glance at all the social media when I’m in a traffic jam and I need to just sit on my dern hands until I get home.
I have been debating getting rid of Facebook for MONTHS. I keep asking myself: how does this benefit me? The answer is, it doesn’t. To be honest, I don’t like the idea of missing out on event invitations. That’s the only reason I keep it.
I can’t say no to Twitter but sometimes I take a break for a day or two. This weekend the twits were driving me ballistic. I find my Twitter usage skyrockets during the work week and drops off on the weekends, which makes me feel a little bit better.
I decided to give up social media on my phone and it’s been great. I still have a use “social” apps like Meetup, Goodreads, Yelp, etc. but since those aren’t things that I actively use or get updated with high frequency it’s easy to stay off them. I deleted Twitter and Facebook from my phone, and then deactivated my email accounts so I can’t check anything. I have to be at an actual computer, so it creates more effort for me during the day. Of course, if I bring my computer with me to study or if I’m on my couch at night, it doesn’t help much, but I feel much more focused at school, with friends and with my husband. I might adopt a few of your strategies as well!
I really like your practical approach to this! So many people just do the whole “I’m deleting Facebook & staying away from everything else for a month” or whatever. Not that there’s really anything wrong with that if that’s what you need to do, but I’ve never seen it as applicable to me. I don’t have any tips or ideas for you, but I did just want to commend you for the way you’re going about it. :)
Great post! I am a computer scientist and I spend 90% of my day working on a computer. But I always divide my day into sections where I get away from my computer to do some serious paper reading or thinking. I have also started signing out of gmail chat from 8-5, typical work hours, due to all the additional noise it provides. (Just because I am signed in, doesn’t mean I want to talk to everyone!) I only recently got a smart phone, so I haven’t had time to get addicted to the apps yet! I wish you all the very best for teacher’s training and new objectives!
I generally try to stay off twitter at work. And I’m getting in a better habit of just closing my laptop after dinner. I have no problem with relaxing and zoning out with some netflix, but at some point I need to turn off the “noise” and just focus on what’s in front of me.
When I’m on tour, I generally disconnect some. I’ll post occasionally, but I feel like a lot of it is random inside jokes that only other people in the band will get. (Which, I do sort of love during those long hauls on the bus when we sometimes communicate via facebook. But we also make fun of each other for doing it.) But when I’m on tour, I want to just enjoy everything that’s happening around me.
I used to get really concerned with being offline. I’d get sort of an anxiety about it… that I was missing something, or really that I was missing EVERYTHING. But after a while I realized it’s not that big of a deal. The only thing I feel bad about is not being present for some of my friends I only really communicate with online.
Mainly I just don’t want to get so caught up in documenting my life that I forget to actually live it.
Oh, good luck! I seriously need to work on that myself… I’m definitely one of those “OMG MY PHONE MADE A NOISE WHAT DOES IT MEAN I MUST CHECK IT IMMEDIATELY” types, but I’ve been trying to cut way back on that… especially after watching my roommate once he got his first smartphone. I realize it’s a new level of connectivity for him and that’s cool at first, but it makes me uncomfortable to think that I’m missing out on being *present* and that maybe my brain chemistry is seriously too re-wired to focus on and retain anything like it used to. I already feel like my memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be… I think a good inventory of my tech usage is in order and some boundaries need to be drawn. It’s hard to be mindful when your mind is aloof and dialed in to everything OTHER than where you actually are.
I just heard the term “cyberloafing” the other day, and it describes me perfectly. I don’t have a lot of time for the internet on weekdays, so I am fine with what I do allow myself then. But I am trying to unplug more on the weekends!
I totally need a facebook detox. I’m just not THERE yet though. (This is a sign of addiction, isn’t it??)
I’ve found my online presence diminishing slightly over the past few months. For one, I can’t be on my phone at work as much as I used to be so I’m really rarely on Twitter now. I scroll through on my lunch break and after work but I don’t spend a lot of time on social media anymore. Sometimes, I go weeks without checking Facebook or uploading anything to Instagram.
I think my biggest problem is reading blogs. I really don’t follow a lot of blogs and I’m not as obsessed with commenting as I used to be, but I still waste a lot of time just browsing through blogs and just wasting time online. I really understand this problem because there’s this whole Fear Of Missing Out.
I know exactly what you mean about checking Twitter / email / Instagram as soon as you wake up – I do that all the time, and it’s only in the last few days that I’ve started making a conscious effort to NOT do that. Good luck with your check out! I think I’m going to have to follow along and figure out how to stop living so much of my life online (outside of my blog, heh).
Also, deleting my Facebook account was probably one of the best things I did in the last couple of years. However, it does suck to be out of the loop with events and announcements – I didn’t know about an ex-coworker’s engagement until a few days ago (and she’d been engaged for a little while). Oops.
id have to agree with you – if youre taking your phone into the bathroom with you, and youre NOT a heart surgeon on call, then you could def. benefit from a “detox”. there is nothing that anyone can text/email/tweet that cannot wait until youve properly brushed your teeth. youre better than that!
i think its sad when people are out and someone in their party is constantly checking their device – it seems so insulting to their companions. like saying “i know im having dinner with you but youre not good enough – i MUST read this email i just rec’d, “
My online presence has diminished SO MUCH in the last year since I got my new job where I’m very out there in the community so don’t like being as out there on social media. I’m embarrassed at how much I used to check social media and also how much I used to be on my phone when I was literally sitting across the table from someone at lunch or dinner. I now think that’s SO RUDE and I would do it to Eric a lot (terrible). I’ve adopted Ashley from Our Little Apartment’s strategy and I’m trying no screen time when I’m talking to people this month. So far so good!
Everything here resonates with me. Everything! I’ve beent thinking I need to change my habits for some time now, and then I end up thinking, “But do I REALLY want to?” And then I think how horrible that is. I know I spend too much time online, mindless time, that could be better spent doing other things. And I like the validation I get, but is that healthy? And it’s definitely not healthy when I am disappointed by not enough “likes,” comments, etc.
I would definitely like to cut back on the time I spend on social networks. I’m even going so far as to try to get a program called Cold Turkey installed on my work computer. There are days that I do close to nothing at work because I’ve fallen down one internet hole or another.
This article from MakeUseOf had some great points. http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/how-do-you-know-when-youre-overdosing-on-social-networks/
I laughed out loud when you mentioned using your phone in the bathroom. I actually snuck away from work and am hiding in the bathroom reading blogs, haha! Sometimes you just need a break. But I totally agree with this. I am so bad at checking my phone when I should be listening to someone. I need to cut it back a lot.
Did I tell you – I think I did – that because of YOU I have committed to putting my phone AWAY when there is a human in front of me? I had breakfast at Orphan with a friend the other week and kept my phone in my purse. (Normally it would be on the table.) I didn’t IG my food. And I “missed” 3 texts from my husband. He was all WHERE WERE YOU? because I’m usually so quick to respond and he was worried. Ridiculous. So now he knows when I’m with someone, my phone is not welcome. I also deleted my Twitter account forever ago because I hate Twitter. I hid a whole bunch of people on Facebook. I cannot see them and they can’t see, and comment, on mine – it’s been a little slice of heaven. I stopped blogging and unsubscribed from many blogs. One of my friends started a social media free Sunday; everyone in her house plays along. OH, and if I want to IG something, I’ve been TRYING to take a quick photo, but wait to upload it until there isn’t a human with me.
anyhoo. I guess I needed to get that off my chest.
I’ve been mulling over where I want to go with my on line presence. I don’t blog as much. I’m not that addicted to FB- it’s a mindless thing I scan yet haven’t deleted as there are people (family) on there I don’t get to connect with in other ways elsewhere. Twitter stole blogging’s thunder and I don’t know if I can ever forgive it. I used to love blogging back in the early days where people actually read and commented and communities sprouted up. I miss that. When I think about quitting my blog, I think of all the friends I’ve made through it and it makes me sad to walk away. I find myself mindlessly scanning social media sites when I’m bored or want a distraction. I try not to keep my phone out when I’m with real live people because I hate how that feels when people do it to me. I keep trying to get Darcy to have at least one night where we don’t have our phones with us, that we’re just connecting with each other. It’s been a struggle. I never thought he’d be so addicted to his iPhone (he was a late adapter).
YUP. That’s basically what I have to say about that. I go (am going) through similar feelings. I basically avoided Twitter all last week and it felt so NICE and stress-free. I am always looking for a way to cultivate a more “natural” approach to The Internet, rather than setting a bunch of rules. I’ve tried rules (no Internet once I get home from work, no checking emails until I get to work, etc.) (and this is obviously not applicable to me right now, and probably not for you, as I assume you don’t get a ton of Internet time in during the day.) But point is, I do wish there was a way to just not be so obsessed with Internetting, to have it just be a thing I do when I have time, when I feel like it, etc. The break was nice, but there are definite GOOD reasons to use Twitter and I don’t want to be someone who just jumps on to get a recipe idea and then just jumps back off. I do like the “community” there (even though some people take it annoyingly too far.) Anyway, point is (NO REALLY), I hear ya, am going through something similar, etc. Solidarity, sister :-)
I’m BACK! Something I do sometimes (and it sounds weird, but go with it) is basing my online time by how much phone battery I’ve got. I pretty much use my phone exclusively for Internetting, and I don’t really recharge it throughout the day, so if I’m at like 80%, I’ll allow myself a few minutes to check in with all my social media sites. Once the batter power starts dropping, say below 50%, I’ll know I’ve been online way too much and I’ll go put my phone away somewhere. Man, this sounds lame. This shouldn’t e hard! But it is!
Hi typos! Can you tell I’m commenting from my phone? Anyway, done now, for reals ;-)
My one phone/social media rule is no phones at the dinner (or brunch, or lunch) table, unless we all want to look something up. I do, however, waste a ton of time in bed in morning and at night reading things and playing games on my phone. I am the WORST at falling down the Facebook rabbit-hole, and before you know it, I’m reading posts from 2011 from a person I haven’t seen since middle school.